The Gospel according to Amy

So I'm just wondering, as a married woman, how my words got taken as the end-all, be-all for all things from that point onward.
Not as in "close the lid of the toilet when you are done," or "pick up your own dry cleaning," but other things, that may change.
I have had three kids. I have had my fair share (and then some) of mood swings. I know. I'm tough to live with. I am.
However.
For having had no kids himself, my husband is really pretty moody too. He's demanding in his own way. Sure, I love him, but he's high maintenance. I learned about a year or two into our marriage, I was no longer the difficult one. Gravy on the side, shoes in a line, and quiet when the show is on. Yeah, he's the Sally.

One pregnancy I made a comment about the frequency of our "intimacy."
My youngest child is almost 9, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say it while she was the one I was expecting.

Today what I said was again touted to me as "the Gospel according to Amy."
(hey, that might be a great, great blog rename. Stay tuned)

Funny, I meant it at the time. Boy, did I ever. However, it's years later. We've both changed, learned and maybe grown a bit.
I don't still mean it, but I guess I never told him that. He didn't ask either. Things just keep on going their merry way and even though we've both changed our view on this particular issue, it's not been readdressed til today.
and then it was a fight.
So, when is it the time to bring it back up? When it's a fight? When it naturally arises? shouldn't one revisit certain issues, especially intimate ones, after more trust has been built and more time has passed?
Obviously, I trust my  husband more now than I could have ever dreamed when we first got married, or even in the early day of having that first child. I imagine that in another 16 years I"ll trust him more than I do now.
Until further notice, this has been the Gospel according to Amy.

Thanks, friend.

I've been so busy the last few days with PTO at one school and running back and forth to things like Cross Country practice, gymnastics practice and Target, I have barely had thoughts to assemble aside from "Get out of MY way!!!" We Mass drivers are like that. sorry.

Today I had the joy of sitting with a friend for a couple hours with coffee (and no kids-delightful) and talking about things. She was wonderful, and just what I needed when I'm thinking about my life. She says, " I had no idea you were a certified teacher. When will you go back to teaching."
"Never." Say I. "I am so over the system."
"Do you envision yourself working outside the home again?" asks my friend.
"yes. But that's the real question, what do I do?"

She was a great friend and listened to all my rantings and shiny ball thoughts as we dashed from ziplining recently to how great our gymnastics coaches are to our collective kids. She did the best thing ever for me today too....she told me how good I am at being a mom and juggling it all.
"I'm such a mess," I say. "All the time. I think that it's so hard."
"That's what is great about you," she says, "you don't seem it at ALL. You are always on time, happy and ready to go. When you leave the room, it's a brighter place."
*sigh*
I have never, EVER been told that. Ever.
It was great.

first post ever!!

Well, here it is. A friend of mine from college that I've recently reconnected with has told me that I should write.
"About what? Really?"
"About anything. Just get it all down. You have interesting things to say, and I read a lot of garbage."

Hmmm. I have a lot of thoughts, for sure. I get typical "shiny ball" syndrome when I'm in Target or something...and have all sorts of "when I get home" moments.
Of course, when I do get home it's all about unpacking, walking the dogs and getting business attended to for the moment. The golden inspiration of Target is forgotten until the moment just before I'm asleep.

So, here I am with a blog. Because I can. Because I'm the mom, that's why. (I love using that for anything.)
What will I post about? Well, currently, I'm searching for what direction my life will take after my kids get too old to need someone (me) to drive them back and forth to school, wash their laundry and make dinner every night. I know they will always need me in some way, but when they move out into the world (eventually, let's not get crazy here) is it going to be enough for me to do these things for myself and my husband? Dogs don't wear clothes or need their rooms cleaned. They also don't require summer vacation activities and sleepover parties. They don't have first communions or graduations from anything more than obedience class.  All that said, I am pretty sure I'm going to need to find meaning in something else. Right now, I've got the luxury of pondering that as long as I can. It's like being a teenager again, only I AM in charge. (ooh, the power)

First up, you should probably know that at one point (before kids) I was a certified middle school teacher. I worked for one year as a substitute--roaming around from district to district. I had a "permanent" job when a teacher took a medical leave, and then that ended and I was again day-to-day. Once you are friendly with an administration, sometimes they will have you show up every day and just plug you in wherever you are needed when you get there. It was nice, but being your own classroom teacher is better. I did that for a year and a half too...I had my own classroom, my own set of kids and my own agenda. Teaching is a wonderful job, but so low paid. I worked at a private, parochial school in a small town. (read = no budget) It was cheaper to quit my job rather than pay for day care for one child.

So I left my job outside the house, to take the job inside the house and make it my own. I do love being a stay at home parent. I never felt I had to defend myself to anyone--if they wanted to work and have kids, all the more power to them. Of course, if every time someone said "well, it's easy for you, you don't work/you stay home" I had a dollar, I'd be typing this from my pool house in Tahiti. It's easy to be jealous when you don't have an option.
I have made my own bread, made countless dinners and learned how to clean just about anything. I have sewed quilts, Halloween costumes and crocheted blankets. I have house broken two puppies (not at the same time, thank goodness) and learned how to make jewelry. I have learned all that and more, because staying home is fun. It is also a lot of work.
I often hear it said that you should love your work. I currently love my work, but as it changes, then what?

This blog might just help me decide.